Gifts
by Frankie and Avery.dont ask
Summary: BJ receives a letter from home that changes the course of three lives. Rated for language and Slash themes. Hawkeye/BJ. Unbeta'd.


**Don't own it. Don't sue me. Thanks. Love you too. **

**First ever M*A*S*H fanfic. Trying to edit my novel and this little rabbit wouldn't leave me the hell alone, so here you go. Enjoy, I hope. **

**Please review. Flames are welcome because they usually make me laugh. **

**Gifts**

Dear BJ,

I love you. I can't do this anymore. Every letter, every word, I can feel you getting further and further away from me. It's always…always _that one_. I've lost you, BJ. I know I have. I've known it for months. Erin will always be here. when you get back, she'll be waiting for you. But I can't do it anymore. I felt alone before your letters started…being filled with _that one_, but now. I know you'll come home to me when this is over. It has to be over soon. All the news says that it won't be long now. Your body will come home, but your heart won't. It'll stay there, in Korea, with _that one_. I'll have you back physically, but you won't be mine anymore. I've know this for months, BJ. I don't know whether or not you've been faithful to me in body, but you already broke your vows in your heart.

I don't know how to tell you this, but, BJ, I've found someone else. Someone who loves me and will love me. Someone who won't go off to war and leave me. I don't hate you, I can't. I won't get you in trouble. I'm not going to call you names. I'm not going to label you, because I'm not sure there is a label. You love _that one_, but I don't think it has anything to do with…well, not being like me. I think…Well, I don't think you care what I think anymore. I'm happy, BJ. With this man that I've found. I hope you can be happy for me and happy with your choices. I'll always love you.

Erin will be waiting for her daddy when this damn war ends. I hope you'll come back to her. Bring_ that one_ with you. She should meet the person that her daddy fell in love with.

I love you, BJ, forever.

Peg

BJ Hunnicutt stood, completely still, by the Swamp's stove. The words on the page in his hands had parallelized him. He began to tremble slightly, but showed no other sign of a reaction. The footsteps that were growing louder outside the tent had no effect on the man. A tall, thin, graying man flung open the door to the tent, calling, "Come on, Beej. Once more into the bree… What's wrong?"

BJ looked up slowly from his letter. Hawkeye fell back a step at the dead look in his eyes. "BJ, what happened? Is everyone alright? Are Erin and Peg alright?"

BJ just tilted his head and offered the letter. Hawkeye took it, reading quickly. He frowned and read it again. "I don't get it." He said, finally, looking up at the other. "Who is That One? What is she taking about, Beej?

BJ smiled hollowly at Hawkeye's naïve questions. "She's talking about you, Hawkeye." His voice was hoarse for no reason he could remember.

The other's frown deepened. "What?"

BJ laughed softly, mirthlessly, and sank to the floor. He buried his head in his knees and covered it with his hands. "She's talking about you. You are That One. She's telling me that I'm in love with you. She wants to divorce me because I'm in love with someone else. Another man, no less."

Hawkeye's gut twisted sharply and he dropped down beside his friend. "Beej, that just silly. We'll get Radar to patch a call through and you can talk to her. Explain. She's obviously-"

BJ' laughter cut off Hawkeye's words. It was loud this time, and broken. "I can't explain, Hawk." He lifted his head and turned his brittle gaze on Hawkeye. "I can't tell her she's wrong. A call won't do any good, Hawkeye. Because it's true. All of it is true."

He dropped his head back onto his knees. His back flinched away from the graying surgeon's touch. Hawkeye was frozen for a moment, hand hovering, until the sound of BJ's sobs brought him back to life. He grabbed the other by his hair and jerked his head up. "BJ Hunnicutt, you are an idiot."

The brittle gaze shattered before his eyes. "I know I am. I've just destroyed everything. I know." He choked on the last word.

Hawkeye pursed his lips. BJ sank further into himself at the look of disgust he was receiving. "What have you destroyed?"

BJ frowned at the cruel tone and turned his head away, hair still trapped in Hawkeye's hand. "My marriage. My relationship with my best friend. My entire life…"

Hawkeye snorted and the tightening of his gut turned to butterflies. "Idiot."

Releasing his grip on BJ's hair, he instead grabbed either side of his face. Bj's eyes were shut against the hate he could almost feel in Hawkeye's stare. The lips that touched his, feather light, were such a shock to his system that he jerked and nearly fell into the lit stove. "Hawkeye, what—"

Hawkeye's eyes were soft and he was smiling. "Never assume. It makes an ass out of—"

BJ groaned. "Please be serious for a minute and explain to me what the fuck that was, so I'll know I haven't finally gone round the bend. I'm not in the mood for—"

Hawkeye kissed him again. Deeply this time, not caring if Charles came back from Post-Op or Radar came in looking for them. Hell, Hawkeye thought with a smile, the entire US Army could come in right now to court marshal me and I would not move from this spot.

Finally after several long, long minutes, he pulled back. "That was my way of saying that I love you too, you great cheesy mustache. Peg's a fool to let you go. To cheat on you while you're stuck here, but her loss is my gain. I'm glad she left you and that's selfish of me. But she's promised you Erin, so you won't loose your little girl and now I can have you and not feel like a home-wrecker."

BJ frowned. "Hawkeye, you've wrecked homes before. Carlye?"

Hawkeye smirked and shook his head. "Don't care. They're not the same. You're the one with the fairytale marriage and the cotton candy heart. I couldn't have done anything to ruin that or I'd have felt like…like I was stealing candy from a baby or medicine from the sick. I would have been no better then…Frank." They both shuddered comically and grinned at one another.

"But Hawk…you did do something to break up my marriage."

Hawkeye frowned sharply. "I absolutely never—"

BJ smiled. "You existed. Hawk, you could have never spoken one word to me the entire time we were here, but you just being you would have done it. I couldn't not fall for you."

Hawkeye smiled a genuine smile that was not a grin or a smirk. BJ returned it. He glanced down at the letter and his smiled widened at the gift his wife had given him. She'd given him Hawkeye.


End file.
